“The Holiday Season: Shine Your Inner Light ” By Tara Fass. (Tips for celebrating the season from a mom and family therapist.)  Align – Be intentional about what you stand for and strengthen your connection to those values you hold. Don’t do anything by rote if possible. Imbue all of your preparation and activity in alignment with the will to do good around the values you hold dear. In what way are you part of the trans-generational transmission of tradition? Do you want to celebrate the way you or your parents and grandparents celebrated? Do you know how they celebrated?

If not, are there traditions you’d like to revive or reinvent. Are there other traditions that resonate in you and that you want to sample? What are the impediments that stand in your way to embracing the season? Get out of your own way. Cleave – What aspects of the holidays are most important to you? Who do you want to spend time with? What do you want to do? Is it worship, family, fun and games, getting in touch with friends, old and new, gift-giving, community service, decorating, cooking – or any combination of those to name a few. If nothing appeals to you on the list, re-think the list.   Manifest – Follow through without being overwhelmed. If you feel lost, remember to turn back to knowing who and what you serve. Deepen your alignment and cleave to the will to do good if all else fails! Keep it that simple and try not to over-do it or withdraw. Pace yourself. Remember it is possible to serve others and yourself while knowing perfect is impossible.    The First Cuts are the Deepest – If you are a parent, the traditions you set now will be the ones your children grow on. Be intentional about the imprinting you would like to keep in place. Here’s something to think about with regards to having a Christmas tree. Has it become as American as apple pie? What’s the difference with going to someone else’s house, and even taking joy in decorating it, with having one in your own home? Set the mold early and hold fast to it.   Still Lost? - Remember who you are and who you serve.   Ask yourself: What is the message and spirit of the season? If you’re a parent, what do you want your children to remember? Historically, the Winter Holidays were originally about giving our ancestors comfort and something to look forward to during the shortest days and longest nights of the year. It was about literally bringing a little lightness to the darkness. Metaphorically its message is similar.   By bringing joy to the broken places in our hearts, minds and spirit as individuals, families and communities, we find sustenance, renewal, and hope for better selves in a better world.  Copyright 2007 Tara Fass  All Rights Reserved

About the author: Tara Fass, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist,   has been a child custody mediator since 1993, and before joining Peace Talks Mediation Services in 2001, she was a Los Angeles Superior Court Child Custody Mediator and Evaluator in the Conciliation Court Office.  She teaches a Co-Parent Education Program privately and in the past with the Los Angeles Superior Court.  Tara maintains a private psychotherapy practice focusing on child custody issues.  In addition to her professional mediation and training experience, Tara also has lectured on the subjects of co-parenting and blended families on the graduate school level and has presented on the topic of "Product vs. Process:  The Psycho-Legal Approach to Divorce" and “Preparing Clients for Custody Mediations” for therapist and attorney professional organizations. Family law mediation is Tara’s second career; she was previously in publishing. TaraFass@aol.com (310) 301-2100, Peace Talks Mediation Services, Inc, which teams attorneys and therapists as co-mediators to help couples resolve divorce issues in a sane, sensible, and fair way at a reasonable cost. www.peace-talks.com.