"Happily subservient, seemingly content and fulfilled. And she vacuumed in high heels and pearls.

How about Harriet Nelson from The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet. Another example of cheerful subservience in pearls. Jane Wyatt played the lovely Mrs. Anderson from Father Knows Best, smilingly elegant in heels. And of course who could ever forget Barbara Billingsley as June Cleaver, mother of The Beaver.

Then there was Julia. Remember Diahanne Carroll as Julia? She was one of the first single working mothers on television. Very controversial. She was a nurse raising her son. And she was black. She was absolutely beautiful, always had it together and always wore makeup. I hate that.

What about the always-effervescent Florence Henderson as Carol Brady from the Brady Bunch - mother of six, always looked great and again - always smiling - even though her husband was gay. Of course the reason she smiled all the time is because she had a housekeeper. Alice!

Then there was Shirley Jones as Shirley Partridge from The Partridge Family - again one of the first single working mothers on TV where she proved you CAN have it all by successfully combining motherhood and career by raising her family while on tour. She had a nice bus.

There wasn’t a realistic TV mom until my absolute favorite - Roseanne. I will always love her for having the guts to do that show and show how it really is. So there you have it. The TV moms I grew up with.

Which brings us to my favorite current TV moms: Jane Kaczmarek as Lois from Malcolm In The Middle. An EXTREMELY accurate and realistic portrayal of a truly crazy mother. And oh how I love Felicity Huffman’s Lynette Scalvo from Desperate Housewives – a fantastically flawed, completely conflicted manically multi-tasking modern working mommy. And finally, she’s been off TV for a while but her portrayal of the ultimate modern mother will not easily be forgotten – Sharon Osbourne.

Well, I’m not raising my girls on Donna Reed, OR Sharon Ozbourne. Although I do borrow a little from each. I tell my girls the truth! No Superman, no supermom. I tell them YES! You can be an astronaut - sure! Talk to Dr. Sally Ride - first American female astronaut in space – talk to Eileen Collins – first female shuttle commander – Barbara Morgan – California girl and first teacher in space - go ahead and go to the moon!

I get to raise my girls on Kim Possible, Zoe 101 and Hannah Montana. Yeah!!! Finally stories with female protagonists who turn out to be the heroes and DON’T go off with the guy! I’ll tell ya a secret. I yearn. For the fifties. Not the REAL fifties. No no no. The fake fifties. The Donna Reed fifties. Where men and women knew their places. The men went off to work and the women stayed home. They hung out with the other Moms. They drank coffee, smoked cigarettes and had cocktails. At least that’s how it was when I was a kid growing up in Queens, New York in the old days. Ahhh, the old days. I remember the old days.

Life was so simple then. What were there seven, maybe eight channels on the TV and no one thought twice about jumping in a convertible in the summer, no car seats, no seatbelts, no sunscreen. An open beer and a lit cigarette. Sounds great doesn’t it? If you did that today you’d get arrested for child endangerment and I’d be the first one to call! Oh the good old days when you didn’t need Mommy and Me’s and playdates. You just HAD that stuff, there, built-in.

All the kids played outside together and all the Moms sat around coffee klotching and smoking. Boy does that sound good. I love Coffee klotches. And I miss smoking. No one coffee klotches here. We’re way too busy to coffee klotch. Most of the Moms I know have no time and when they do; they drink water and go to the gym.

Oh how I yearn! To just tell my kids to outside and play. Ha! Sure just go outside and play and get kidnapped, mugged, abused, drugged. It’s just so different. They need so much more supervision. There’s danger everywhere. Everything is dangerous! Chemicals, sugar, too much sun. Toxic tap water, indoor air quality in the classroom. Too much TV. We are soooooo enlightened! Ignorance is bliss. So I yearn. For innocence and ignorance and rainbows and lollipops."