As I gazed into the face of my new son, I could not have imagined that a mere twelve hours later, I would fall completely, irrevocably in love. I could not have comprehended that this “Son of My Soul,” would capture my heart completely and forever hold it captive.
I have often been asked the question, “Do you ever wish you had a child of your own?” I’m sure the quizzical look on my face must have baffled such interrogators until they heard my response: “But I have!” It seems to many, that a magical contribution of DNA is all that can make someone yours, but that is not so. Life together, commitment and love, work their own magic.
I also often hear, “I’d love to adopt a baby, but I just don’t think that I will feel the same towards an adopted child as I would had I given birth,” to which I can only reply, “Then I feel sorry for your husband. He doesn’t carry the child. I guess he can’t love any children you have as his own.” But you can find love through adoption, and through Special Needs Adoption, you can find a deep and satisfying love with the added knowledge that you are helping a child who is desperately waiting for a home, is in great need of an advocate…is urgently waiting…for love.
I remember the first time I was told that my son was considered “Special Needs.” “Really?” I queried. I was confused. Why would he be considered so? Yes, he was born with cleft lip and palate, and there was a concern about hearing loss, but to me his “specialness,” was in the sweet way he clung to me when I picked him up, the curl of his bright hair, his incredibly large, luminous eyes. I have to admit, that it took a little while for me to realize what I was being told, and when I fully understood, the impact hit me like nothing had before.
Special Needs. What does it mean in relation to adoption? A child is considered Special Needs if: he or she is an older child, usually over five; a part of a sibling group where the local Children’s Services is trying to keep brothers and sisters together; a minority or of mixed race; physically challenged, such as my son; children considered to be at risk, like those born to drug-addicted mothers or who have been abused or neglected; mentally or emotionally disabled because of inherited conditions or resulting from abuse. Special Needs. Shouldn’t that translate to Special Love?
On the practical side, Special Needs could mean Special Expenses. In the case of Special Needs Adoption, when conducted through your county Children’s Services, many times there are no fees. Therapies and medical expenses are often covered, and frequently help is offered for schooling such as tutoring.
Special Needs can also mean a way to open up your life, your home, and your soul to a child who needs a family. An opportunity to finally form that family you forgot about on your way up the corporate ladder. Or maybe just a chance to finally fill that empty space in your heart, which has been waiting for someone special.
Special Needs. Indeed: Special Love, Special Memories, a Special Family for a very Special Child.
About the author:
Debra Shiveley Welch was born in Columbus, Ohio and has lived in the Greater Columbus area all of her life. She now resides in Westerville with her husband, Mark, and their adopted son, Christopher, also a published author.
A third generation poet, Debra has been writing since age nine. In her early twenties she had her own column in the Baltimore Eagle Gazette. Later, she worked as editor for several newsletters, including as development editor for The Parent Connection for The League Against Child Abuse.
“The defining moment in my life is the day that I became a mother, and our attorney placed my son in my arms. I drew him to me, breathed him in, memorizing his unique scent, imprinting his essence into my very being. It brought me full circle. I knew that this was a very special calling in my life, to be with this soul, and to share my life with this child. To this day, I revel in his unique perfume.”
Written while waiting to pick up her son from pre-school, A Very Special Child was born. Debra wanted to tell the story in a spiritual way, and in such a manner that would make a child proud to be adopted. She also felt that it was important to reinforce the fact that he or she was loved from the very beginning. These feelings, therefore, were her muse, and A Very Special Child sprang from her heart, virtually complete with the first writing.
Debra is the author of three books: A Very Special Child, a Best Sellers in English at Amazon Japan, Christopher Bullfrog Catcher, written by her son at eleven years of age, and scribed by Debra, who also wrote its introduction, and Jesus Gandhi Oma Mae Adams, Debra’s first novel, co-authored with Linda Lee Greene, which recently made. AuthorsDen Best Sellers at Amazon. All are available through Saga Books www.sagabooks.net and www.amazon.com.
Currently Debra and her son are co-writing Christopher’s Family Table, a companion cook book to Son of My Soul - The Adoption of Christopher, an autobiography chronicling a woman’s profound journey to the adoption of her son, released November 1, 2007, and she is also working on Cedar Woman, a romance recounting the adventurous life of a Lakota Sioux holy woman, and a thriller, Heads Are Gonna Roll, an ambitious tale weaving English history, reincarnation and murder.
